11 Ways to Practice Self-Care This Winter

From Fall foliage to Halloween, Thanksgiving, and the Holy Grail of cute winter things: Christmas ---Winter is the most wonderful time of year... Except when it's not. 

Don't get me wrong. I love Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Cranberry Sauce and Michael Bublé's Holiday Pandora station as much as the next girl. Let this be a disclaimer that I am not the grinch. But let's face it. We've all thought it, and now that I'm saying it - we can come clean and admit that winter isn't just hard because it gets cold outside. 

The further you get from the care-free summer days, the more stress seems to pile on. For me, it's in school (Work generally holds a regular level of stress year-round.) For you, it may be work, health, weather, ect. 
Theeeeeeen, you add in the holidays. Again, don't get me wrong. I've been listening to that special Pandora station since September. (Not ashamed.) And I love stockings and Christmas trees and cookies. But I don't love holiday stress, I don't love anxiety, I don't love emotional drainage. Those are all prices to pay in this time of year. 

Don't fret though, friends! I, the QUEEN of self-care, am here with gentle reminders that you too can practice self-care to get through the blues of winter.

1. Breathe. Start by taking a few deep breaths now and then. You'd be amazed what a little extra oxygen can do for your brain and mood.

2. Tea. Soothe yourself with your favorite warm cozy drink. And if this means treating yourself to Starbucks during a Target run, then so be it.

3. Sleep. This one should seem obvious, but how many times have you yawned today? Probably too many. Naps are a good thing. Early bedtimes are a blessing.

4. Practice Hygiene. I'm sure (or I hope) that yo do not completely neglect basic showering and teeth brushing come winter. But when was the last time you did it just for yourself and not because it is part of your rushed morning routine? Take a bubble bath. Put on your favorite music and sing as loud as you can while you deep condition. Give yourself a facial or a DIY sugar scrub (omg, I'll so do a post on this. Stay tuned.) 

5. Self Soothe. This can be different for everyone. Music, lotions, mediation. Whatever eases your mind and heart. You cannot go wrong.

6. SAY NO. It is way too dangerously easy to stretch yourself too thin at this time of the year. You are not a bad person for not picking up an extra shift for someone or for not making a donation to the Salvation Army (actually, you should probably Google where your money goes if you do make that donation... Just saying.) You are a good person even if you don't go to Aunty Beth's third MaryKay party in two months. Are you getting my vibe? 

7. Exercise. I'm not saying you should convert to being a cross-fit junkie; but take a walk outside. Go to a yoga class. Turn up Justin Bieber's Christmas album and dance in your underwear (I won't tell anyone if you won't.) 

8. Feel Good. Let's go back to the yoga one for a minute. I'm lucky enough that when I was 4 years old, I met the amazing girl who would grow into my life-long best friend and the best certified yoga instructor I could ask for. I cannot say enough good things about her classes. I always leave feeling refreshed. Find your yogi muse (or Zumba or pottery or singing or running) -  if you haven't gotten my message yet, it's whatever makes you feel good.

9. Write. I'm pretty sure there's probably a study out there that says that journaling and writing what's on your mind makes for a better life. I don't know, I said probably. But I've heard plenty of therapists and other emotionally tuned-in people share that journaling (or blogging!) = better emotional state. 

10. ASK FOR HELP. This is another huge one. Even if it's just asking your better half to do the food shopping this week. Or maybe it is having a friend meet you for coffee so you can vent about work. You are not a lone wolf - this life is not a fight to take alone.
10 (and a half) This one is serious. If you get into such a funk that you can't get out of bed, every day feels like constant, heavy sadness, or you feel unsafe: seek out professional help. Find a doctor or therapist or an emergency room. Feeling that low is a sad, scary place and you do not have to stay there or fight it alone. It gets better. (Start by checking out these resources.)

11. Treat Yo' Self. Do something for yourself every day. Even if it is as simple as getting a scone with that drink at Starbucks or taking the long way home to finish jamming out to Taylor Swift. Find something on this list or your own ideas and TREAT YO' SELF, GIRL. 



*Disclaimer* Self-care should be practiced year-round. You are worth it. 

xo, 
Scotlyn 

I Said Yes!

The calendar was marked "date night." But by a turn of events, it became our engagement night. I said yes! 

I said yes long before he bought a ring or got down on one knee though. Somehow, nearly six years ago, when I was just shy of sixteen years old, I knew I had found the one. 

I said yes through the silly, young fights we had. I said yes through his enlistment in the military and through basic training. I said yes throughout chronic illness. I said yes through new jobs and high stress. I said yes through vacations and endless adventures together.  I said yes throughout a deployment. I said yes throughout the start of new chapters. I said yes through college. I said yes through grief and loss. I said yes in our first home purchase together. I said yes through depression. I said yes in bringing home our first fur-baby together. I will never stop saying yes to marrying this man. 

That to me, is how true love works. Somehow, at an age when I didn't know how to drive or balance a check book, I knew about him. I knew he was the one. I knew, despite the military, despite our young age, despite any of the challenges we faced then, what we would face as young adults, and the ones we haven't faced yet - I knew he was the one for me. I could not imagine the rest of my life without painting him into the picture. I cannot imagine a day when we are not sharing this love. I cannot wait to keep saying yes to being his wife. 

How To Grieve

How to grieve... There is no way to teach you how to grieve. I'm sorry to say it, but there is no handbook. There's a good chance that it would be a heck of a lot easier if there were a handbook. "Cry, do X, Y, Z, cry a little more, and BAM - grief is over. You're not sad anymore. Thanks for coming, pay at the door."

My father passed away unexpectedly a little over two years ago. Some days, it feels like it was last week, an open wound with no healing in sight. Other days, it feels like it has been decades since I have heard his voice. 

- The first piece of advice: Allow yourself to grieve. It sounds easy, but to allow such hurt and heartache can be a challenge. Some days, it will have no limits. The tears will flow and your heart will burn in a third degree sort of way. Other days, you'll laugh and smile with friends and the sun will shine; your heart will just burn slightly. Both are okay.

- Find something to connect to your loss. For me, it is the Red Sox. My father loved that team almost as much as he loved his own family. Hearing Jerry Remy announce a home-run or being in Fenway Park's atmosphere bring me back to moments with my dad that I will be able to treasure forever. They sting a little, yes. I won't lie about that. But every day, they sting just a tiny bit less.

- Let yourself be helped. You're hearing this from the queen of "I'm fine." and "I don't need anyone." Let. Yourself. Be. Helped. I cannot stress this enough. Grief is way too big of a monster to try to tackle alone. Help doesn't mean defeat. It can be as small as allowing a friend to buy you coffee on a particularly difficult day, or opening up and crying to a caring ear. Help can be finding a professional who can guide you through the million and one emotions that come with grief. There is no shame in any of the above. Even if you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable, those feelings will be far less difficult to overcome than your loss will ever be. Don't try to go into it alone.

- Balance the hurt with the joy. Holidays, anniversaries and special days will always bring a painful sting. There will always be an empty place around the holiday dinner, or the anniversary of your loss will forever be a black hole in your calendar. That's fine. You have every right to have the hurt on those days. What you've lost is unfair to you. Despite the hurt though, remember the good in those days too. Remember the happiness that is still around your dinner table and the joy you had when the empty place was full. When the man you love gets down on one knee, cry tears of joy for this exciting new chapter, and shed a few that he never got to ask your father for permission. Hurt over the fact that you'll never get to share the news or a father-daughter dance with him. But smile too, because he taught you what to look for in a husband and set your standards so very high. 

- Take care of yourself. Sadness can so easily turn into dirty hair, pajamas for days, and an estranged relationship with your shower. And that's okay - for a while. When that becomes a constant; when your life is on a permanent hold; when you feel unsafe because of how much control your grief holds - that is not okay. Self-care means giving yourself a free pass to wallow now and then. It is taking a bubble bath when the house needs be vacuumed, but listening to Adele and a glass of red wine are all you can manage for the night. Self care is saying 'no' when someone asks and giving yourself all the extra love that you can spare on the days when your heart hurts a little more. 

- Lastly, remember them. Remember the person, remember the laughs and the stories - remember the good times. Again, sometimes those memories will hurt to go back to. But without them, the grief would not exist. We grieve because of how special and valuable such memories are. The pain and hurt are reminders of what good our loss brought into our lives before it was lost. Remember that value. Remember the love.

The Easiest Photo Hanging Trick Ever!

I am the genius of all geniuses, friends! Actually, I just read a cool Pinterest post and then acted on it. 

There have been times that I thought my relationship was on the rocks. Not because of lack of trust or infidelity. Rather, it was home improvement DIY  that risked doing us in. 

Perhaps that is slightly hyperbolized, but seriously, how could such hostility and frustration come from hanging pictures on the wall?!

Anyway, this time around, I decided to try to decrease the stress.

I turned to the all-knowing Pinterest and once I gathered my ideas, I was off to work. We laid out all of the frames that had to be hung and covered each with enough large napkins to create a "mock frame" of sorts.

 This allowed me to create a layout on the wall with the exact size, and spacing needed for each frame. I was able to easily rearrange until I found a satisfactory set up with no harm or foul done to the walls. Then, when I was satisfied, C just had to drill a screw into the marked spot on each "paper frame" and then remove the paper and hang the real frame.

The whole process took less tha an hour and had such satisfactory results.

9/11 Reflection

I'm sitting on my couch, and I can see a local police cruiser making a drive through my neighborhood. When we first moved in, seeing this made me nervous. Was my neighborhood so dangerous that it required the police to check in? Over time though, I came to a realization. While the town C and I settled on for our first home together isn't the most picturesque and has a bad crime rep, our specific neighborhood isn't so crime stricken that the police need to tame it. The police presence is just the opposite. Their drive-throughs are a reminder that they are present in a town that they swore to protect. They observe and are always ready and on the front line. 
While I know that I have a large bias because of C's involvement in law enforcement and in the military; I stand behind our troops, our police officers, firefighters, first responders, doctors, nurses, the whole lot. These are the people who keep this world going around. I don't engage in any "black lives matter" or "police brutality" topics that have plagued our media lately. This is not because I do believe that black lives or officer's lives do not matter. They each hold unmeasurable value, just as any other life matters. 
However, what is on my mind today, is the same thing that is on every other American's mind. Fourteen years ago, in 2001, I was a little girl and I tried to understand the tragedy my mother was explaining to me. However, what a monumental movement I got to see as our nation came together as one. One nation who honored heroes and saw no race, color, religion, sex, origin, age, or disability.
We saw patriotism. 
Today, on the anniversary of September 11th, 2001, I have seen endless of posts stating "never forget" and honoring the police and other heroes who stepped up and who lost their lives on September 11th. Let me disclaim that I feel the same sense of patriotism that each of these posts express. What I cannot understand is how our culture can further promote and make villains of the same heroes and their brothers who they are commemorating today.   
What I cannot understand is how we, as a society, can memorialize and idolize these heroes on this somber day, and yet make villains of them every other day. The posts of "#neverforget" are a fallacy when they are among a sea of ignorance built by each hateful thing shared by the nation who once bound together as one colorless force of Americans. 

Heroism is eternal. Think before you post.  

DIY Map Painting

I have a habit of thinking something up in my head and then feeling the world has personally offended me when I cannot find exactly that said product for sale. Such, this was the case with the artwork now hanging in our bedroom.

I wanted a simplistic world map. Just a solid color background with a solid color print of the world map. This, I though, was far less extravagant than some other ideas that is brain has cooked up. So I was shocked when I could not find it for sale anywhere! 
Finally, I decided if I could not find it - I would make it. However, the reality of me being able to freehand an outline of the world map... in a way that would look like artwork that one would actually want hanging on her bedroom wall... set in quickly and I had to put my pretty little thinking cap on. 
A stroke of genius reminded me of 'engineer prints.' These are prints that you can have done at Staples Copy and Print Center. (Or other printing companies, I'm sure.) They are intended to be blue-prints. So, that means the paper is BIG! I found a simple outline of the map and ordered it to be printed on an 24x32 inch engineer print for a whopping $4.19. The low price of this big print is probably one of my favorite parts of this entire project!
Next I went to Michael's Craft Store for the rest of my supplies. I lucked out that they were having a sale and I was able to purchase a 24x32 canvas for only $20 when they usually cost $40. But the Michael's app always has a 40% off full priced item coupon that you could use. I also picked out my paint colors, a few brushes, and an exacto-knife. 
Once home, I laid my big old print down on the kitchen table and started the process. Using the exacto-knife, I (VERY CAREFULLY) cut out the outline of the map. This left me with a giant stencil of the map. (Don't forget to have something underneath the paper to protect the surface you are cutting upon. I used a cutting board from my kitchen and it worked wonderfully.) I saved the cut out continents so that I could later retrieve bodies of water. I decided to issue creative license and did not include every tiny island, as I wanted a very simplistic look.

The Stencil as a Work-In-Progress

Next I laid out the canvas and painted 2 coats of my base color.
Once the paint was dry, I taped my giant stencil to the canvas (neatly and evenly) and began to trace in the continents. (Don't forget to add in bodies of water for accuracy!) 
After removing the stencil, it was just a matter of coloring (er, painting) in the lines! 

Then, VOILÀ - you're done and ready to hang your masterpiece.

The Finished Product!

Will you marry-(nade) me?

Thank you for tolerating my bad pun of a title and still clicking on to read. Bless your blogging, little soul.


I am a type-A perfectionist. I like to clean often, I track my milage in a day, and I live for color coding. Except in the kitchen. I grew up sitting at the kitchen counter, watching my mother whip together the most amazing meals, but never once did that woman lift a measuring cup.

Tonight, as we were away for over a week, I had limited dinner ingredients and needed to get creative come 6 o'clock. Bless the intuition of my mother, I just may have learned a thing or two from her.


Here are two different chicken marinade recipes. You should be warned that each ingredient measurement could include "ish" at the end. Since this was just an experiment with luckily successful results, I'm going to give myself a hearty pat on the back.

Marinade 1:

6 tablespoons of honey
4 tablespoons of light mayo
1.5 teaspoons of Cajan Mustard. (This was actually just a tiny jar that came in a fruit basket that we had laying around. I bet spicy yellow mustard or Dijon would be good too.)
A splash of lemon juice
A larger splash of soy sauce

I let a few chicken tender strips (the style of cut, not breaded chicken tenders) marinate in this for a while (i.e. cleaned and studied until C came home and could grill them.) Then I had the master grill-man do his thing and wah-la! Dinner.


Marinade 2:

4 tablespoons of spice mustard
1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar
1/3 cup of brown sugar
A few shakes of salt and pepper
3 teaspoons of olive oil.

Follow the same very precise and calculated directions listed for the first marinade.


Now, I've got to be honest, I'm pretty darn proud of how this turned out. Now, don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times that my efforts do not yield such success,  (Read - baking...) but this one wasn't half bad!

Let me know how your meal is if your try these marinades out!