DIY Wedding Planner

If you read my last post  -  you may have heard that C and I are engaged and full in the wedding planning swing! But I am persistant in keeping it beautiful and special, but low key and far from extravagant. I already booked a ceremony venue – it’s a mountain, it’s the woods and our reception venue is our family’s yard. Done and done. (See - low maintenance.) We are trying to rule out the unneeded added details (For example - programs or bridesmaids dresses! No need for those since our only guests at the ceremony will be the equivalent of our ‘wedding party’.)

However, I am still a planner and a micromanager. I have two to three calendars that I refer to daily to keep myself in line. It’s just who I am. So despite my best efforts to avoid wedding obsession, I wanted a wedding planner. I LOVE planners! I love organizing. And I love C and can not wait to be married to him! But every wedding planner I perused was the epitome of traditional (beautiful and bridal, but just not for me.)  and not to mention they were $30-100 each!

So, crafty little me decided to make her own!

How cute is this little binder?!

My wedding planner feat. Jefferson sleeping in the background

Here is what I used:

I turned to the glorious “Dollar Days” section in the front of target and found the following:

• -       Little 3 ring Binder - $3
• -       Little dividers - $3
• -       Little pages – 3
• -       Gift labels -$2 (used for binder tabs)

These were the sections I used for each divider (with subcategories)

• Important
• Behind this tab I have a wedding timeline, my bridal party info, day of the wedding checklist, an emergency list, and vendor contact info.
• Budget
• Behind this tab, I have lists and worksheets regarding our budget and spending for the reception, food, alcohol/drinks, flowers, photos, music, decor, ect. I also can keep a list of the costs of each vendor here.
• Guests
• Behind this tab is my full guest list, an organization to keep track of  info for each guest (i.e. table number, events attending, RSVP, hotel, and gifts given.) The save the date and invite info can also be filed here. 
• Ceremony
• Behind this tab, I can file info from our Justice of the Peace, our vows, any readings, guests attending, and a schedule. 
• Reception
• Behind this tab, there are many things that can be filed such as: seating plan, floor plan, vendors [catering, DJ, photographer, rentals, catering, bakery, ect,] menu, bar menu, speeches and toasts, songs/dances, activities, decor list.
• Misc
• Behind this tab, I will be able to keep track of any beauty details such as hair/make-up/dress, a registry list, and a list of received gifts. 
• Blank pages
• I like having all of the blank pages in the back as each section will require a different amount of space, so I can add to each as needed. 

                           

From there, I searched on Pintrest (of course!) for worksheets and templates to include in this.  Making my own binder allowed me to omit the things that did not apply to me (such as putting down a deposit on my ceremony location – since mother nature is free.) but it has given me structure to organize and plan in one complied space.

This is such a simple way for me to think about our wedding celebration, but have it be my way - laid back and full of love! 

Our Journey To "I Do"

For anyone who missed the memo (or who doesn’t follow me on Pintrest - ) Guess what!? C and I are engaged!!! As a Pintrest addict (like – if this was a diagnosis, I would be the poster child for 'Pintrest addiction'...) I regress...  – as an avid pintester, I was surprised by myself that once we were officially engaged, I had no interest in having a wedding.

I have nothing against them. They are fun and everyone deserves to have a special day. But never once have I heard a bride say “planning this wedding was so relaxing, gosh, I was never stressed once!” Never.

Again, this is just how I feel personally, but I do not want to be the one to stress and become a bridezilla. And I am pretty proud that we are homeowners at 21 and 23 years old -  with that said, the idea of spend $30,000 on one day when we could put that number towards a chunk of our mortgage – it just blows my mind!

I personally, would be over the moon to take a walk down to town hall and tie the knot with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. It’s the marriage that I am passionate about. But to my fiancé, a wedding and celebration of our love is important. I so appreciate him and that he is making sure this is a special occasion and that we'll have no regrets in acknowledging so. And I value this love so much, I am more than happy to celebrate it.

We spent a long time going back and forth with wedding ideas. Finally, we came to a decision.

New Hampshire is our mecca. It’s our safe space. It’s the most beautiful place I have ever been and I feel so lucky to have grown so much of our love in those mountains. So where better than within the forest trees to wed ourselves to one another? We plan to marry this summer at the summit of one of our favorite hikes with our parents and siblings. Later in the day we will invite friends and family to the yard in New Hampshire for a wedding celebration. 

Low key – high love. These are the values I am so excited to bring into our marriage.

Living With Celiac Disease

When I was seventeen years old, I got sick. At first, my parents and I just assumed it was another round of a stomach bug. When it lasted for weeks with no end though, it proved to be something much more serious. After running a multitude of tests, labs, and procedures, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. Suddenly, it seemed clear that I was not just prone to strep throat, stomach bugs or stressing my self to the point of throwing up (Okay, the last one could go either way, but I regress...) as we had just assumed in the past years when I always seemed to be ill. I struggled still even after getting diagnosed. While I was able to start with the singular treatment available for this (eating a diet that strictly rules out gluten) I was still reactive. For almost two years after being diagnosed, I still was throwing up daily. They ran many more tests and procedures, but were never able to confirm a reason for my continued response (aka puking my brains out.)

However, time has passed and I am well managed now. As "Celiac" and "Gluten Free" have been such trendy words lately, I decided to answer some of the most frequently asked questions that people ask me about this.

Q: What is Gluten?
A: Gluten is a protein. It is mainly found in 3 types of grains: wheat, rye and barley.

Q: What is Celiac Disease?
A: Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder. Autoimmune disorders cause the body's immune response to attack itself. In Celiac Disease, this happens when the protein, gluten, is ingested. In our intestines, we have zillions of little hair-like things called villi that line the walls and grab all sorts of nutrients out of the foods we eat. The villi then take the nutrients and help distribute it throughout our bodies. Celiac Disease causes the villi to not recognize the protein, gluten. So, instead of grabbing the gluten, the villi kill themselves off in an attempt to protect the body from absorbing this apparent intruder. This process causes the body to try to expel the offending ingested thing (gluten.) For me, this meant spending my senior year of high school with my head in the toilet... for others, it could present with frequent diarrhea... or both. It's a charming quirk. 

http://greaterorlandogi.com/wp-content/uploads/Celiac_disease.jpg

Also, Here is a link that shows some signs and symptoms listed by the Celiac Disease Foundation. 
and this is a super extensive list to make your head spin. (Just to show how varied the presentation can be. This is part of why it is so difficult to diagnose! Each patient presents differently!)


Q: How do you treat/cure Celiac Disease?
A: There is no cure for Celiac Disease. The only treatment is to strictly rule out all sources of gluten from your diet - forever.

Q: Can you just develop Celiac Disease/Why didn't you have it as a kid?
A: This answer varies. For me -  they said it was most likely genetic. My dad got diagnosed with Celiac Disease about 5 years before I did. He was totally asymptomatic, it was an accidental finding during other medical testing. My doctors think the disease passed down to me, but was dormant in my body and was then triggered by an immune response such as the flu - annnndd I then became symptomatic. This means there is a good chance I was doing years of damage to my body without knowing it. 

Q: What do you eat?
A: I don't know, what do YOU eat? (Just kidding.. sort of.) Learning to live on a gluten free diet definitely had a learning curve. I had a serious treatment team of doctors and professionals to help me learn though. I also learned lessons about what I could and could not eat the hard way... But now I am a pro. I eat a regular sort of diet, I just buy different breads and pasta and substitute somethings for other things and I have to be extremely mindful of making up for what I am not getting nutritionally. If you're really interested in this question, maybe one day I'll do a post on my diet and sample meal plans or something. 

Q: But you can cheat once in a while, right?
A: No. Never. First off, I have never crossed a meal that looked good enough to accept the pain and discomfort of an autoimmune reaction (or the part of throwing the whole thing back up.) And unfortunately, those aren't even the worst part of the autoimmune response. Even if I weren't to react, my insides are still affected. The villi will always be killed off by gluten, that will always result in malabsorption, malnutrition, and delayed healing. No amount of chocolate cake is with that. 

Q: I touched my beer. Can I touch you now or would it make you sick?
A: Unless your touching my intestines - we're good. Celiac is not an allergy - it is an autoimmune disorder. (There is also little risk of me getting sick from kissing my fiance after he's eaten bread... Yes, because people don't think it's weird to ask me that... IT IS WEIRD TO ASK ME THAT.)

Q: What is a gluten intolerance?
A: I can't give you as detailed of an answer on this one, as I have not experienced it. But here is what I've gathered over the years. Some people eat a gluten free diet because it does not agree with them, or their body is intolerant to it. (Think Lactose intolerance, same sort of thing.) However, it's a gray area. There is no way to test for it or diagnose it. It's a painful game of trial and error, figuring out what your body is intolerant to. Gluten is a sneaky little bugger that is ever present in an average American diet. This means that more times than not, gluten might not be the culprit to their illness or distress. (I think I remember a study that said this applied to close to 97% of those with a gluten intolerance, but don't quote me as I heard it on NPR and can't find a source to link here now.) Now, I'm not doubting that there is something wrong, I've been in that boat of not knowing, it sucks and it is super scary and frustrating. But since gluten is ever present in the American diet, when we rule it out, we rule out just about a billion other ingredients, proteins, chemicals, ect. That means that you could inadvertently be ruling out something like soy, which is actually the culprit of your problem, but you think that it is gluten! And just to be clear, I am so not on a high horse about this. I was able to be given a medical diagnosis and know for sure. I cannot imagine how frustrating it must be to have no way to know for sure what the problem is. The short answer is that a gluten intolerance is an adverse reaction (Usually GI discomfort from what I've heard) and Celiac Disease is an autoimmune disorder triggered by gluten, and celiac also has terribly distressing reactions.

Q: How do you know for sure that you have Celiac Disease?
A: Celiac Disease can be tested for. Once they think it might be a possibility, they run blood tests. If those come back positive, they'll do an upper endoscopy and take a biopsy of your intestines. That biopsy gives the doctor a definite answer. (It's like the pregnancy test of Celiac Disease, haha!)

Q: How do you go out to eat?
A: To be honest, any time I eat anything that I personally did not prepare, it's a gamble. But, you can't just stop living because your intestines are unfriendly and hostile to the world. At this point, I'm becoming a seasoned veteran at eating out in a gluten free style. I look the restaurant up, check out reviews from other gluten-free eaters, I call ahead of time to check to see what they can accommodate and I review the menu online ahead of time. Most of the time, I'm okay. And if I do get sick, I'm not going to die right at the table, I'll get through it - it's not the end of the world.

Q: Do you get annoyed by people who say they have a gluten intolerance because it is so trendy right now?
A: Yes and no. Maybe gluten really is the culprit for that person. If so, I'd love to sit down and share a gluten free pizza with them. Yes, it is frustrating to see someone order a gluten free pizza and then order a beer. (Beer is liquid gluten.) It's frustrating to see the lack of understanding or lack of care. It is also equally if not more frustrating to have my gluten adversities be taken less seriously because of the 'gluten free' person who also orders a beer. If a person preparing my food lacks care and precision when preparing my food because she assumes I am hopping on the bandwagon of gluten-freers right now; I pay the price. It affects the entire rest of my day, my body, and my long-term health. 

Q: You didn't tell us why you are not annoyed by these people though.
A: To speak to the 'no' in the first part of my answer, these people are also helping me. They are bringing light to gluten free and Celiac Disease. When my dad was diagnosed around 2006, not a single person knew what Celiac Disease or gluten were. A gluten free pasta was hard to find and was guaranteed to be equivalent to cardboard. Now it is popping up all over the place and some are actually pretty good. (Sure, slapping 'gluten free' on a product is making great marketing for the company right now because of the trend, but hey, I'm not complaining that more options are popping up!)

Q: If you cannot drink beer, what can you drink?
A: Great question. Seriously. Because there is no straight answer that I've come across. Beer is 100% off limits. There are a few solid and safe choices such as wine (comes from grapes) and cider (comes from apples.) After that though, it gets tricky. Some say that most all other alcohol is off limits. Others say that EVERY alcohol (Except beer) becomes gluten free during the distilling process and that all will be safe. 99% of drink companies don't put out a statement either way. On gluten free discussion forums, some say to test it out and see how you react. For some that may work, for others it won't. It also gives you about a 50/50 response on most drinks. SO. If you know the definite answer to this question, come take a seat and tell me, first round is on me. 

Q: So you're so much healthier now that you eat gluten free. Is it a healthy life choice to change to a gluten free diet?
A: Yes! IF YOU HAVE CELIAC DISEASE (or another medical reason.) If you are just looking to lead a healthier life or looking to lose weight - gluten is not a magical bean to make it happen. This drives me more crazy than anything else. If you rule gluten out, you need to have support from a gastrointestinal and a registered dietitian. (read: not nutritionist, registered dietitian.) And probably a therapist wouldn't hurt either. It is not a solve-all or a way to lose those 5 pounds. If you have no health adversities to gluten, IT IS GOOD FOR YOUR BODY. It is part of a balanced and healthy diet. If you straight up cut it out, you're also cutting out about half or more of the other nutrients, proteins and other VERY important things that make your body work. I cannot stress this point enough. I could probably write a whole ranting blog post on this alone. 




These are the questions I undoubtedly hear every time Celiac Disease comes up. I hope you feel a little more well educated about this condition. If you ever have any other questions, please feel free to ask me!!!

11 Ways to Practice Self-Care This Winter

From Fall foliage to Halloween, Thanksgiving, and the Holy Grail of cute winter things: Christmas ---Winter is the most wonderful time of year... Except when it's not. 

Don't get me wrong. I love Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Cranberry Sauce and Michael Bublé's Holiday Pandora station as much as the next girl. Let this be a disclaimer that I am not the grinch. But let's face it. We've all thought it, and now that I'm saying it - we can come clean and admit that winter isn't just hard because it gets cold outside. 

The further you get from the care-free summer days, the more stress seems to pile on. For me, it's in school (Work generally holds a regular level of stress year-round.) For you, it may be work, health, weather, ect. 
Theeeeeeen, you add in the holidays. Again, don't get me wrong. I've been listening to that special Pandora station since September. (Not ashamed.) And I love stockings and Christmas trees and cookies. But I don't love holiday stress, I don't love anxiety, I don't love emotional drainage. Those are all prices to pay in this time of year. 

Don't fret though, friends! I, the QUEEN of self-care, am here with gentle reminders that you too can practice self-care to get through the blues of winter.

1. Breathe. Start by taking a few deep breaths now and then. You'd be amazed what a little extra oxygen can do for your brain and mood.

2. Tea. Soothe yourself with your favorite warm cozy drink. And if this means treating yourself to Starbucks during a Target run, then so be it.

3. Sleep. This one should seem obvious, but how many times have you yawned today? Probably too many. Naps are a good thing. Early bedtimes are a blessing.

4. Practice Hygiene. I'm sure (or I hope) that yo do not completely neglect basic showering and teeth brushing come winter. But when was the last time you did it just for yourself and not because it is part of your rushed morning routine? Take a bubble bath. Put on your favorite music and sing as loud as you can while you deep condition. Give yourself a facial or a DIY sugar scrub (omg, I'll so do a post on this. Stay tuned.) 

5. Self Soothe. This can be different for everyone. Music, lotions, mediation. Whatever eases your mind and heart. You cannot go wrong.

6. SAY NO. It is way too dangerously easy to stretch yourself too thin at this time of the year. You are not a bad person for not picking up an extra shift for someone or for not making a donation to the Salvation Army (actually, you should probably Google where your money goes if you do make that donation... Just saying.) You are a good person even if you don't go to Aunty Beth's third MaryKay party in two months. Are you getting my vibe? 

7. Exercise. I'm not saying you should convert to being a cross-fit junkie; but take a walk outside. Go to a yoga class. Turn up Justin Bieber's Christmas album and dance in your underwear (I won't tell anyone if you won't.) 

8. Feel Good. Let's go back to the yoga one for a minute. I'm lucky enough that when I was 4 years old, I met the amazing girl who would grow into my life-long best friend and the best certified yoga instructor I could ask for. I cannot say enough good things about her classes. I always leave feeling refreshed. Find your yogi muse (or Zumba or pottery or singing or running) -  if you haven't gotten my message yet, it's whatever makes you feel good.

9. Write. I'm pretty sure there's probably a study out there that says that journaling and writing what's on your mind makes for a better life. I don't know, I said probably. But I've heard plenty of therapists and other emotionally tuned-in people share that journaling (or blogging!) = better emotional state. 

10. ASK FOR HELP. This is another huge one. Even if it's just asking your better half to do the food shopping this week. Or maybe it is having a friend meet you for coffee so you can vent about work. You are not a lone wolf - this life is not a fight to take alone.
10 (and a half) This one is serious. If you get into such a funk that you can't get out of bed, every day feels like constant, heavy sadness, or you feel unsafe: seek out professional help. Find a doctor or therapist or an emergency room. Feeling that low is a sad, scary place and you do not have to stay there or fight it alone. It gets better. (Start by checking out these resources.)

11. Treat Yo' Self. Do something for yourself every day. Even if it is as simple as getting a scone with that drink at Starbucks or taking the long way home to finish jamming out to Taylor Swift. Find something on this list or your own ideas and TREAT YO' SELF, GIRL. 



*Disclaimer* Self-care should be practiced year-round. You are worth it. 

xo, 
Scotlyn 

I Said Yes!

The calendar was marked "date night." But by a turn of events, it became our engagement night. I said yes! 

I said yes long before he bought a ring or got down on one knee though. Somehow, nearly six years ago, when I was just shy of sixteen years old, I knew I had found the one. 

I said yes through the silly, young fights we had. I said yes through his enlistment in the military and through basic training. I said yes throughout chronic illness. I said yes through new jobs and high stress. I said yes through vacations and endless adventures together.  I said yes throughout a deployment. I said yes throughout the start of new chapters. I said yes through college. I said yes through grief and loss. I said yes in our first home purchase together. I said yes through depression. I said yes in bringing home our first fur-baby together. I will never stop saying yes to marrying this man. 

That to me, is how true love works. Somehow, at an age when I didn't know how to drive or balance a check book, I knew about him. I knew he was the one. I knew, despite the military, despite our young age, despite any of the challenges we faced then, what we would face as young adults, and the ones we haven't faced yet - I knew he was the one for me. I could not imagine the rest of my life without painting him into the picture. I cannot imagine a day when we are not sharing this love. I cannot wait to keep saying yes to being his wife. 

How To Grieve

How to grieve... There is no way to teach you how to grieve. I'm sorry to say it, but there is no handbook. There's a good chance that it would be a heck of a lot easier if there were a handbook. "Cry, do X, Y, Z, cry a little more, and BAM - grief is over. You're not sad anymore. Thanks for coming, pay at the door."

My father passed away unexpectedly a little over two years ago. Some days, it feels like it was last week, an open wound with no healing in sight. Other days, it feels like it has been decades since I have heard his voice. 

- The first piece of advice: Allow yourself to grieve. It sounds easy, but to allow such hurt and heartache can be a challenge. Some days, it will have no limits. The tears will flow and your heart will burn in a third degree sort of way. Other days, you'll laugh and smile with friends and the sun will shine; your heart will just burn slightly. Both are okay.

- Find something to connect to your loss. For me, it is the Red Sox. My father loved that team almost as much as he loved his own family. Hearing Jerry Remy announce a home-run or being in Fenway Park's atmosphere bring me back to moments with my dad that I will be able to treasure forever. They sting a little, yes. I won't lie about that. But every day, they sting just a tiny bit less.

- Let yourself be helped. You're hearing this from the queen of "I'm fine." and "I don't need anyone." Let. Yourself. Be. Helped. I cannot stress this enough. Grief is way too big of a monster to try to tackle alone. Help doesn't mean defeat. It can be as small as allowing a friend to buy you coffee on a particularly difficult day, or opening up and crying to a caring ear. Help can be finding a professional who can guide you through the million and one emotions that come with grief. There is no shame in any of the above. Even if you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable, those feelings will be far less difficult to overcome than your loss will ever be. Don't try to go into it alone.

- Balance the hurt with the joy. Holidays, anniversaries and special days will always bring a painful sting. There will always be an empty place around the holiday dinner, or the anniversary of your loss will forever be a black hole in your calendar. That's fine. You have every right to have the hurt on those days. What you've lost is unfair to you. Despite the hurt though, remember the good in those days too. Remember the happiness that is still around your dinner table and the joy you had when the empty place was full. When the man you love gets down on one knee, cry tears of joy for this exciting new chapter, and shed a few that he never got to ask your father for permission. Hurt over the fact that you'll never get to share the news or a father-daughter dance with him. But smile too, because he taught you what to look for in a husband and set your standards so very high. 

- Take care of yourself. Sadness can so easily turn into dirty hair, pajamas for days, and an estranged relationship with your shower. And that's okay - for a while. When that becomes a constant; when your life is on a permanent hold; when you feel unsafe because of how much control your grief holds - that is not okay. Self-care means giving yourself a free pass to wallow now and then. It is taking a bubble bath when the house needs be vacuumed, but listening to Adele and a glass of red wine are all you can manage for the night. Self care is saying 'no' when someone asks and giving yourself all the extra love that you can spare on the days when your heart hurts a little more. 

- Lastly, remember them. Remember the person, remember the laughs and the stories - remember the good times. Again, sometimes those memories will hurt to go back to. But without them, the grief would not exist. We grieve because of how special and valuable such memories are. The pain and hurt are reminders of what good our loss brought into our lives before it was lost. Remember that value. Remember the love.

The Easiest Photo Hanging Trick Ever!

I am the genius of all geniuses, friends! Actually, I just read a cool Pinterest post and then acted on it. 

There have been times that I thought my relationship was on the rocks. Not because of lack of trust or infidelity. Rather, it was home improvement DIY  that risked doing us in. 

Perhaps that is slightly hyperbolized, but seriously, how could such hostility and frustration come from hanging pictures on the wall?!

Anyway, this time around, I decided to try to decrease the stress.

I turned to the all-knowing Pinterest and once I gathered my ideas, I was off to work. We laid out all of the frames that had to be hung and covered each with enough large napkins to create a "mock frame" of sorts.

 This allowed me to create a layout on the wall with the exact size, and spacing needed for each frame. I was able to easily rearrange until I found a satisfactory set up with no harm or foul done to the walls. Then, when I was satisfied, C just had to drill a screw into the marked spot on each "paper frame" and then remove the paper and hang the real frame.

The whole process took less tha an hour and had such satisfactory results.